Tips For Starting Therapy
So you’ve decided to start therapy and you’re not sure where to start. Or maybe you’ve done therapy in the past and didn’t quite get out of it what you needed. Looking for a therapist is very different than looking for medical provider or a dentist. Usually, you aren’t being referred to a specific person or provider and the mental health world is filled with so many words that most people don’t know and it can feel really intimidating. What DO all of those letters at the end of a therapist’s name mean anyway?
If you are looking to start therapy or to take another shot at therapy after some time away, here are some tips to get you rolling.
1) Shop around
Once you have decided it is time to start therapy, you may be at a loss for how to look for a therapist. With so many directories out there like Psychology Today, Zencare, and insurance directories, you’ll find a lot of therapists to chose from. On many of these directories, therapists are able to write about themselves and even add personalized videos. Also, there may be certain factors guiding what therapist you go with such as gender, payment options, location, and diverse background. Take your time to research different therapists and maybe ask friends, family, and even your doctors for recommendations.
It may seem daunting to set up more than one appointment but choosing 2-3 therapists to do a consultation with is a great way to get a feel for different people, offices and also to figure out whom you feel comfortable with. Remember, this isn’t a dentist that you’ll see once or twice a year, this is someone you’ll be seeing about once a week and opening up to. It’s important to feel comfortable with your therapist. Studies continuously show that the most important factor in healing is the therapeutic relationship so take your time to find someone that is a good fit and that you click with.
2) Pick a place to start and stick to it
I love a show on HGTV called “Help! I Wrecked My House!” It’s a show where a contractor goes into homes where the homeowners have been trying to DIY whole renos and come to a point to where they realize they need a professional to complete their projects. In most homes, you see projects that have been started in almost all of the rooms. The home owners have spent years and thousands of dollars and have very little to show for it.
It isn’t uncommon for someone looking for therapy to come in with lots of struggles. Substance abuse, trauma, mood disorders, personality disorders rarely come alone. You might want to go in and start working in several areas all at once. But I encourage you to not end up like a house on HGTV. Instead, pick one area or struggle that you want to focus on first (maybe your therapist can help choosing one) and stick to it before moving to another area.
3) Come up with clear goals
I always spend one of the first sessions with my clients establishing goals. This helps me come up with a treatment plan and guide therapy. I want to make sure that I am helping my clients meet their goals- not mine. A common answer I get is “I want to feel better”. This may seem obvious but it’s actually pretty vague and what “better” feels like for you may be different for someone else. So when coming up with clear goals think of something that is measurable (I want to make it to work on time 90% of the time) and also realistic meaning create small goals that lead to a big goal.
A few good questions to think about when thinking of goals are:
“What would a complete recovery from my current situation look like?”
“What new opportunities will I take advantage of?”
“What will my relationships look like or feel like?”
“How will I feel about myself?”
4) Ask about a treatment plan
Most people think of talk therapy when they think about therapy. This is when you go in each week and talk about your previous week and process it with your therapist. Although this is a valid form of therapy and some people just need someone that will listen to them, there are other forms of therapy. It’s ok to ask what treatment plan your therapist has and why they chose it for you. There are evidence-based treatments for specific problems or diagnosis such as DBT for borderline personality disorder or CPT, EMDR, and PE for trauma, Gottman Therapy for couples counseling, and so on. It’s great to learn about your treatment so you can also keep track of what is going on in sessions.
Finally, know that you may not get it right on the first try. It can be tricky finding the right combination of personality, treatment planning, availability, and affordability. It’s ok if you have to try a few times- it doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. Just learn from what worked and what didn’t work the first few times and let your new therapist know so that they can be aware and do their best to meet your needs.
If you’re thinking about initiating therapy I encourage you to reach out and set up a free 30 minute consultation.
